Build a life that
you don't need to
escape or hide from.

Unlike your past, your future does not have to be filled by situations and people who require you to submit to intolerable treatment, sacrifice your dignity, suppress your identity, subjugate your humanity or suffer in silence.And even better, the cost you paid to survive your history - namely the surrendering of your internal power and ability to trust yourself -
are recoverable and not dependent on anyone else rescuing you from the rubble of your internal landscape.

Unbelievable as it may sound, the raw materials it takes to prevent, resist and recover from violence without compromising your core values, abandoning your faith or ingratiating yourself to men, exists inside the ruins.

Your own scrappiness can save you. I can show you how.

My Story

At 39, despite having accomplished some meaningful stuff in life, I finally saw the pattern of seeking legitimization for my life and permission to exist from others (specifically, those of the male variety)—whether from religious communities, family, or people I tried to serve.Until then, I had believed that if I could just try harder, serve more, or suffer better, sacrifice deeper, shut my mouth up more often, submit with less resentment, I would finally be worthy of existing, crumbs of love, scraps of belonging and the protection of men from other men.But that just led me into decades of the consequences and internal torment from living inside my own off-screen adaptation of Groundhog Day that left me fighting for air inside the same abusive relationships and cult-like communities, just in different places with different faces.Until my mind, body and soul said NO MORE in the form of what felt like an internal electrical fire that turned into a slow, smoldering, complete wiring meltdown.It was disorienting, excruciatingly painful, incredibly embarrassing, suffocatingly oppressive and felt final.Unlike other hard times in my life, where I'd been able to scrape together at least flecks of willpower to eek my way through, I was left with a soul so dry and dusty, I wondered if memories of survival from the past had just been mirages.All I had in me was nothing.No hope. No purpose. No strength. No ideas. No desire.Apart from my ability to suck shallow breath, my whole life just....stopped.But.Every time I noticed, I WAS, in fact, still breathing.Although it felt like it was through a thin plastic straw and with the weight of a thousand elephants on my chest, it was still air.For a while, I could do little more than just not die.But eventually, a day came when a thought flitted casually into my tired, confused, tormented mind.What if I could simply choose to live?What if I could just decide that I would?So that I had proof of the thought's existence before it could slip away into the ether as covertly as it had come, I said, out loud:"I want to live".First to myself, and later, to a friend.I sucked a deeper breath.But then I had to actually figure out how.Back to shallow, thin air.Where to start? What do I need? Do I need help? What does living even look like? And why? For what? Who do I ask for help? How do I know who's trustworthy and qualified to help? What if I survived the harm just to die during the healing? Where did God go? Was He ever really there to begin with?No answers came readily but I had to get on with it or I feared that the scrap of hope that I could, would dissolve in front of my eyes.So, holding those questions plus many more in one hand and sheer grit in the other, I took the first step - which was to look myself in the mirror and tell myself the truth about my life. The shell of denial received a mighty crack.It was a golden first step, and I took many more - learning through trial and error.I skipped some steps, and had to double back. I took some extra steps that led me out of the way - sometimes a long way! - and I had to figure out my way back. Some steps just led me into dead-ends or perpetual roundabouts.But every day, I consciously chose to commit to stumbling forward, one step at a time, on this awkward journey of recovery - even if the pursuit of wholeness killed me before I captured it.(Spoiler alert: It didn't.)Instead, along the way, I've come to know, in my very own knower, that my existence doesn’t need to be legitimized, validated or protected by ANY external sources.My worth and the legitimacy of my existence is already inherent to my being. (Breaking news: So is yours)Although it has taken years of surviving toxic relationships, sexual violation, exploitation, spiritual abuse, attempted murder and personal loss to begin reclaiming my power, I finally am. Learning to listen to my own voice, to trust my own decisions, and to believe that I am worthy of love and respect—not because of what I do or have done or what has happened to me, but because of who I am, has transformed my perspective and radically reoriented my life.My journey isn’t over, and there are still some moments of some days when the residual effects of the past feels insurmountable. But it's only moments now, when it used to be weeks or even months.This process of continually choosing challenges for myself, setting boundaries and adjusting vision, while allowing myself the compassionate grace to grow, has proven effective over time.By adapting simple skills I've collected along the way, I’ve also learned techniques to avoid shouldering the responsibility of others’ actions, while simultaneously feeling equipped enough to own my responsibility to steward my life and protect my purpose.And I breathe pretty dang well these days, with no elephants in sight. Most days, anyways.Now, I'm inviting other women to come along together on the same kind of transformative journey- with me guiding them along a cheaper, faster, less tormenting path with fewer roundabouts than the one I took.All that pain has birthed deeper, clearer and more vibrant purpose in me.

It can happen for you too.

Reclaiming internal leadership ...

is how it's done. And you don't have to choose between living a life of dignity, autonomy, purpose or safety. You can have it all.But you don't have to go at figuring out the how alone or by trial and error or by cramming your unique self and story into someone else's cookie-cutter healing blueprint.

You can do it in the way that's cut right for you as an individual- but you're welcome to that together with some other travelers inside the Defending Eve's Daughters cohort.Inside our by-invitation-only community, you'll learn how to prevent, resist and recover from abuse and violence by utilizing a 6-step scaffolding to design your own pathway to comprehensive success.1. Discover Your Narrative
Uncover the framework, context and beliefs that have undermined your safety, sanity, and potential.2. Dissect Your Stories
Examine pivotal life moments to observe recurring themes, evidence of identity and purpose clues.3. Decide Your Vision
Craft a vision for your future and map out a journey towards a values-driven, self-directed life that radiates with vibrance, purpose, and choice.4. Develop Your Skills
Learn a variety of incredibly practical and adaptable exercises, tools and strategies that you'll need to bring your vision to life according to your values, strengths and resources.5. Deepen Your Roots
Anchor yourself in the hope and potential you’ve unveiled, which will nurture resilience and fertilize your future.6. Deliver Your Impact
Launch into the purpose you've now owned by releasing the wisdom of your story that will instigate, illuminate and ignite those you're graced to influence.

Next Step

Are we peas and carrots-type travel companions? Let's chat!